


Music Under the Moon

by Punkocalypse



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Healthy Coping Mechanisms, M/M, Manic Episode, Pre-Slash, Typical Treatment of Nobodies, mental health
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:01:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24951991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Punkocalypse/pseuds/Punkocalypse
Summary: Only music could soothe the savage beast. Only Demyx could soothe Saix.
Relationships: Demyx/Saïx (Kingdom Hearts)
Kudos: 13





	Music Under the Moon

**Author's Note:**

> My apologies for formatting, the strange setup of paragraphs is so I can easier read them because words melt together in most fonts for me.
> 
> Prompt:  
> It wasn't love at first sight. But now you were starting to see them in a new light…

They weren't able to feel, that's what Xemnas had said. No emotions, no attachments, no strings available to tie them together. The Organization merely shared common non-existence and a goal amongst its members. But sometimes Saix wasn't so sure. He didn't know if he was capable of feeling doubt, but he could have sworn it was there. The twisting of his stomach like something was deeply wrong with those thoughts.

Those thoughts, these things he could have sworn were feelings, they all led back to a fellow member.

At first glance, Demyx seemed like... well, Demyx. He didn't do his work, he was flighty, he was unreliable... But damn it if he couldn't play the most soothing of lullabies.

Remembering the first time he'd seen the blonde was difficult. The memories were bland, completely uninteresting, and thus nearly impossible to recall. Saix wasn't exactly interested in the Sitar-loving male at their first meeting. He had been more entranced by work. He didn't know how many times they spoke before he began to build interest. How many times had he gotten frustrated with Demyx's antics before it morphed and twisted into curiosity? He wasn't sure.

He could remember when Demyx truly brought him back, however. Saix had suffered from a beserking episode after too many hours of work. He couldn't sleep, no matter how much he tried. He had laid in bed after being forced to retire for a night, rolling over and drifting before opening his eyes merely ten minutes later.

Laying beneath the covers was nigh impossible. Every muscle in his body had ached with the desire to get up and go back to work. He couldn't relax to sleep. He almost had a _fear_ to sleep, at this point. Every bit of him screamed that he'd fade into nothingness if he wasn't working.

So he'd laid there for a full six hours, rolling every ten minutes and growing increasingly frustrated with his current state.

It wasn't enough to throw his blanket off of himself. It hadn't been enough to rub roughly over his arms until they were reddened beneath his sleeves. Everything itched and burned, his body sparking with energy as he had to get it out. He'd nearly launched himself forward before everything faded into bits and pieces.

He knew vaguely of what he'd done but he hadn't been able to stop. His body moved of its own accord while he screamed internally for the relief of his chaos to subside. This beserk had been lasting longer than usual, though...

He hadn't been able to... Stop.

The Luna Diviner had been suffering and was left alone to do so. No one was going to come to help him. He was alone and no one cared. The thought only spurred him to continue in panic as his mind begged someone to come help, to come to comfort him, quell his fears. He couldn't stop moving and he was scared.

Eyes wild, the world around him moved as if in a dream. Nothing was real, no matter how much contact it made with his being. He could rely on no one and he couldn't even feel whatever it was he was touching. He could see wood in his hands, but his senses felt no weight. Why was everything so numb? His panicked orbs were burning, but no tears came out. He wasn't even sure if he was capable of crying anymore.

That thought, the loneliness, the never-ending emptiness that bloomed into the most grotesque of moonflowers within his belly... Everything left him roaring out his pain until he heard a single note.

A strum of strings that melted into another note, and another... Followed by a slow tempo and gentle fingers dancing, nimble on that damned Sitar... Or perhaps the Sitar was blessed.

Something about that song was soothing... It seemed familiar... Where had he heard that tune before? Perhaps it was a lullaby or something from his past life. Whatever it was, it was solid. It was outside of himself and he could cling to it like a safety rope to lead him from the fog.

His feet had brought him across the floor, legs crumbling his legs to his knees before the mulleted male while the strength ebbed and drained from his body. The entire time, Demyx had continued to play, adam's apple bobbing as Saix realized he was humming while he played.

Lashes fluttering open and shut and open again, Saix had exhaled slowly. He hadn't noticed he was holding his breath, his lungs relieved when he inhaled once more. It didn't matter, though, not now. Now, he was gaining a semblance of normalcy again.

Fingers edging forward, Saix wasn't sure where his gloves were, what was he wearing? Looking down at the backs of his hands, it seemed to be attached to a sleeve, so he wasn't naked at least... And then the music stopped.

Pupils darting back up to meet with Demyx's gaze, Saix's lips parted and cold air made his fangs feel like they were buzzing. Things weren't all perfect, not right now. His teeth felt like they were too big for his mouth. He looked back down towards his hands, the same hands that found themselves to his lap.

"Your name is Saix, right..?"

The question had appeared out of nowhere, jolting him back to attention in a flinching motion.

"Right..?" Demyx spoke again, expression forming into concern.

"Yes..." His mouth and throat were so dry, the blue-haired man swallowed before repeating with a less broken tone, "Yes... My name is Saix..."

"Are you okay..?" That voice was warmth, drawing him into a blanket of safety and leaving him feeling much more secure than before.

"I... I think so... Thank you..." He had lowered his face once more while the Sitar melted away into water and bubbles.

"Any time..." And then Demyx had moved forward and hugged him.

The touch was terrifying but reassuring at the same time. Here was something solid, something secure, holding him close. The world began to slip back into reality in his arms as much as the Sitar had, leaving him here where it was going to be okay. His arms wrapped around a small waist while arms held him to a warm chest where things were okay.

Saix wept.

When his body had expended the last of his energy, Demyx had helped him to bed and laid with him until he could sleep. Demyx hadn't needed to do that, but he had. Despite Saix's protests that he would be okay, Demyx had stayed with him and kept him safe. When he woke, his head still rested on Demyx's breast with him curled in the safety of another's arms.

He'd been able to return to work immediately thanks to Demyx. Whenever he felt like he was going to break, Demyx would notice, too. The newer member would play for him until he could calm once more and he'd feel wanted when he was held. It was going to be okay.

Demyx picked up the habit of petting his blue hair, helping more than either of them could imagine. The blonde would build a relationship out of comforting him.

He felt desire.

A longing, the intense need to hold Demyx back. To cradle number nine against his chest and make him know his importance. Saix could never manage to voice it.

He wasn't even sure how to explain it. It was like coming home after months of isolation in a strange, uncomfortable room. It was freedom, liberating him from the darkness that threatened to suffocate him.

Demyx was worth more than any of them could know, quite literally. If it got out that Saix needed him so badly then someone would take advantage of that. There were too many of them who were cruel simply for the enjoyment of it. One of the few emotions most of them would accept that they could try to remember... Sadism. It was better than the nothingness for some of them.

He refused to lose Demyx like that, he had to keep him. Perhaps that decision had been a mistake... It only led him to want more and keep him from the darkness. That thought kept him entangled in a web that he couldn't escape, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to.

Saix wasn't sure how his world had changed so much. He didn't know how it had fallen away to reveal the beautiful petals of a new life. A reason to continue had presented itself.

As irritating as Demyx could be for shirking his duties, avoiding responsibility like the plague... It had almost become endearing, a part of his easy-going persona that encompassed Saix's security.

Demyx could play one hell of a melody. His fingertips would dance just as well as his entire body could. He was full of self-expression and his smile lit up a room. From the way his hair pooled down his shoulders to the way his eyes always gave away his thoughts, Demyx was so much more memorable than when they'd first met.

It seemed like Saix couldn't forget any details of their encounters anymore, nearly clinging to every one of them like the lifelines they were.

Xemnas had said they couldn't feel. No emotions, no attachments, no strings available to tie them together. The organization merely shared common non-existence and a goal amongst its members. But sometimes... Saix wasn't so sure.

Not anymore.


End file.
